English gym

Poll: how often are you deeply caught into this feeling: "Oh, it looks like shit, but I'll give it a try"?

Justine ha scritto:Poll: how often are you deeply caught into this feeling: "Oh, it looks like shit, but I'll give it a try"?

Just about as often as I fart

:D
I bet that this option will be taken into account if nobody else answers

Justine ha scritto::D
I bet that this option will be taken into account if nobody else answers

Gotta be careful though, not to produce a spoonful instead of just gas

(The Germans call this "False friend")

Related to what has been previously said:

http://www.vice.com/read/sugarless-gummy-bears-are-not-safe-for-humans

Give the poor guy a hug... ;_;

Justine ha scritto:Related to what has been previously said:

http://www.vice.com/read/sugarless-gummy-bears-are-not-safe-for-humans

Give the poor guy a hug... ;_;

gummy-fueled diarrhea nightmares

Gastric exorcism at 30,000 feet

Don't use the bathroom on a Delta flight. That stench is from me, seven years ago

colonic unrest

The first half hour felt close to that anxious period right after dropping acid, when you're killing time and waiting for it to hit.

My watery shit looked like a blend of bile and egg flower soup

certo che questa storia degli orsetti ha generato un meme di proporzioni bibliche

I crawled back into bed after shitting for hours. I was a shell of a man, fingers pruned from dehydration. The wreckage I left in the bathroom was too much for my weak body to deal with.

My girlfriend woke up to get ready for work. She wandered into the bathroom, took one look inside, and stomped back to our bed. "We're never getting our security deposit back," she said.

Muoio

Not quite surprisingly, I was pondering to order a free sample of Lycasin 85/80 from a renowned chemistry company online... Though while browsing the forms my mind was suddenly striked by the thought that they're probably meant for formulators, not common people who could get a fresh ticket to their bathroom simply pressing "order" :D

One of the last speeches from my first English teacher.

He's 44 and still kicks asses with a flawless rap delivery.



More info:

http://video.repubblica.it/dossier/elezioni-usa-2016/usa-2016-eminem-rompe-il-silenzio-e-attacca-donald-trump-in-una-canzone/256093/256334


The lyrics are beyond incredible.

Jumped out of the 2nd floor of a record store
With a Treacherous Four cassette and a cassette recorder
In Ecuador with Edward Norton
Witness the metamorphosis
Of a legend growin' like an expert swordsman
From the Hessian war and
Hence the origin of the Headless Horseman
Born with the endorphins of a pathetic orphan
Endless source and reservoir
Of extension cords in dresser drawers
And deadbolts on the bedroom doors
And sexual torture kits kept in a separate storage bin
Excellent boyfriend

Use intercourse to settle scores
With women who have been vendettas towards men
Dickhead is forced in 'til there's shredded foreskin
Reddish torn and they're only bein' fed a portion
Bed sores and sore shins
Pregnant whores can get abortions
Fetish for stickin' metal forks in, self-absorption
Skeletor, I went to Hell and fell a floor
A predator, I'm headed for competitors
Better warn 'em, what I lack in tact and a set of morals
I make up for in metaphors like a cosmetic store
Stegosaurus, Chuck Norris with a thesaurus
Yes, of course, a mess of warrants
You want some? Come and get some, boys!
I'm givin' Daniel Pantaleo a refresher course
On excessive force and pressure points
And dressin' George Zimmerman in a fluorescent orange
Dress and four inch heels to address the court
With a bullseye on his back, his whole chest and torso
Or left on the doorsteps of Trayvon's dad as a present for him
In my present form I'm Desert Storm
Appetite for destruction there's no suppressant for
Aggressive, forceful, and less remorseful in every morsel
Unpleasant, horrible; hello, gorgeous!
The rebel with devil horns just fell off the yellow short bus
Met a contortionist, said, "When you wanna get sexual?"
She said, "However I fit in your schedule. I'm flexible."
Expired tags on the Saturn, got Catherine Bach
In the back in Daisy Dukes with the hazards on
At a traffic stop gettin' harassed, sign an autograph
For this asshole cop's daughter
Laugh 'cause I called her a brat on it
He spat on it and brought it back lookin' half in shock
Had a heart attack and dropped dead
Started fallin' back with it
And got slapped with a Colin Kaepernick practice sock

One ball and half a dick, Apple Watch
Crack front axle, walked in a Bass Pro Shop with David Hasselhoff, pulled Tabasco sauce out of my satchel
Knocked over a fisherman's tackle box and *crash sound*
Asked if they had a laughin' stock
That was fuckin' stupid…

You got it twisted, all 'cause I offered this bitch
A doggie biscuit, you call me misogynistic
Bitch, get to massagin' this dick!
Like spas in this bitch, slob on it with gobs of lipstick
Got a shoppin' list for you to run some odds and ends with
It's not a bitch on this earth I can be monogamous with
She's non-existent
Robin Thicke with a throbbin' dick on some suave and slick shit
But I shout derogatives at bitches like fuckin' missile launches
Misfit, blond and nitwit
Like I've gone ballistic, with a frostin' tip kit
Screamed, "I hate blondes," and became one, I'm optimistic
Love to start shit
Shovin' Clark Kent's undergarments in the glove compartment
Of the bucket, bumpin' Bubba Sparxxx
I'm double parkin' up at Targets, trouble 'causer, a double crosser
Shadiest mothafucka you'll ever come across
Olympic gymnast, been known for some assaults
A couple lawsuits, enough to cause a stomach ulcer
Same damn brain scan results as Rainman's is
Something's off, but when Dustin Hoffman's
Dressin' up in your mummy costume
On stage dancin' to "Brain Damage," what's the problem?
Nothing's wrong, the name brand is back to reclaim status
Run the faucet, I'ma dunk
A bunch of Trump supporters underwater
Snuck up on 'em in Ray Bans in a gray van with a spray tan
It's a wrap, like an Ace bandage
Don't-give-a-fuck persona, to my last DNA strand
E&J in the waistband, at the VMAs with the stagehand
She wants kielbasa, pre-arrange an escape plan
Three-inch blade on point, like a See-and-Say
Consider me a dangerous man
But you should be afraid of this dang candidate
You say Trump don't kiss ass like a puppet
'Cause he runs his campaign with his own cash for the fundin'
And that's what you wanted
A fuckin' loose cannon who's blunt with his hand on the button
Who doesn't have to answer to no one—great idea!

If I was president
Gettin' off is the first order of business
Once I get in office
Second thing that'll make me happy's walkin' up to Uncle Sam
Naked, laughin', dick cupped in hand
Screamin', "Fuck safe sex!"
Throw a latex and an AIDS test at him
Tell Congress I run this land
And I want the rubber banned, and make it snappy
Addiction to friction and static
Addict who can't escape the habit
Continue to chase the dragon
But as fate would have it, I walked up in major Magics
Dressed as the maintenance man
In a laser tag vest and a racin' jacket
With a gauge to blast it
And sped away in the station wagon
Stacey Dash's and Casey Anthony's
Crazy asses in the backseat
Throwin' Stayfree pads at me
Dead passenger in the passenger seat
Unfasten the safety latches
And slam on the brakes in traffic so hard
I snapped the relocation brackets for the monster tires
'Finna get a murder case and catch it
Like you threw it at me encased in plastic

And send Dylan Roof through the windshield of the Benz
Until he spins like a pinwheel and begins feelin'...
Like a windmiller with a thin build while his skin's peelin'
And skids 'til he hits a cement pillar
Swing for the fence like Prince Fielder
Knock it into the upper peninsula
You wanna go against 'zilla? The Rap God
When will I quit? Never been realer
The in-stiller of fear, not even a scintilla of doubt
Whose pens iller than Prince in a chinchilla
Or Ben Stiller in a suspense thriller
Revenge killer, avenge syllable binge
Fill a syringe, 'til I
Draw first blood
Even pop shit on my pop shit, and it's popular
Couldn't be more awkwarder
Cause you're innocence I robbed you of
It's my fingers that got stuck up
Taught ya ta, not give a
Slapstick, hockey puck
The broad hunter with the sawed off
Like an arm when it's lopped off of ya
But I'm not gonna, get the shotgun
Or the Glock, I'm gonna opt for the ox
Cause I'm into objects that are sharp when I shop
And it's not a shock, I'm such an obnoxious fucker
The Rock Hudson of rock 'cause who would have thought
This much of a cocksucker to go across the buttocks of Vivica Fox with a box cutter
That was for 50, little slap on the wrist be warned
I'm unrevealin' quickly
My squabbles, I'm grappling with your time traveling with me
Try and follow, as I wobble, relapse into history, with a flask of the whiskey
Tip it back then I'm twisting wine bottles
Like what happened to Chris Reeves' spine column
That's the plan of attack when I'm fixing my problems
Wish my chest wasn't having to get these rhymes off 'em
But the fact that I have so many rappers against me mind boggles
And why I haven't come back on these faggots who diss me is
More of a spectacular mystery than a fucking Agatha Christie crime novel

But my patience is wearing thin
Swear I been contemplatin' rubbing shit in your face 'til I smear it in
Diss you in every lyric until you fear the pen
And never appear again
If you actually had fuckin' careers to end
But then I think of Molly Qerim and I steer 'em in that direction and forget my ideas for them
Molly, I'm gone off you
Man, light some kush
You're my first take, I'll nail you
Can't lie, I gush
If I won you over, you would be the grand prize
I'm entranced by your looks, come and give the Shady franchise a push
You can get it in the can like some Anheuser Busch
Jeans too small, least three pant sizes tush
Mushed against your damn side, your puss
And thighs are squished
What kind of attires that?
I'm ready to be rode
Psychopath, bet you we'll get it poppin' like a flat
Light the match to ignite the wrath
Got knives to slash and slice hermaphrodites in half
Piper Chapmans might just have to picket me
Like a scab
Hard to describe in fact
Startling violent perhaps
Are things that come to mind as soon as I start spitting rhymes like that
And you aren't really surprised at that
But as far as these lines I rap
And these bars, wouldn't dial it back if I star 69ed the track

One ball and half a dick, Apple Watch



una a caso eh, ma della stessa caratura ce ne sono varie

Ha molto estro. Guarda che robe è in grado di partorire:

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/eminem/badguy.html

Justine ha scritto:Ha molto estro. Guarda che robe è in grado di partorire:

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/eminem/badguy.html

Siamo sicuri che è farina del suo sacco? Chiedo solamente eh

Dovresti sentire quello che fa in freestyle (improvvisando), cerca se vuoi il testo di Despicable (sono da cell e sto incasinandomi, perdona se non lo posto io)

Justine ha scritto:Dovresti sentire quello che fa in freestyle (improvvisando), cerca se vuoi il testo di Despicable (sono da cell e sto incasinandomi, perdona se non lo posto io)

Nessun problema

2 bottles of lubriderm and a box of condoms is that all you brought?

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/eminem/despicable.html

Rieccomi

L'espressione della gente attorno mentre freestyla (al minuto indicato)

https://youtu.be/KwyOfqbP8JU?t=193

Justine ha scritto:Rieccomi

L'espressione della gente attorno mentre freestyla (al minuto indicato)

https://youtu.be/KwyOfqbP8JU?t=193

Uhm...mi da l'impressione che stia leggendo (Nulla di male eh)

Ma scherziamo?
L'ambiente HH non perdona, se sei un fake che legge ti bruciano le terga e rispediscono a casa

One of the many reasons why I'm in love with Itoshiki-sensei

This fits quite easily to the general mood

On meeting ghosts trying to spook people around: "Why don't you read a book instead?"

Me, whenever I read abysmally idiotic blogs

Siri chronicles

Justine ha scritto:Siri chronicles

I love Siri and its misunderstandings. But, what was the reminder intended for?

Many of the screenshot I'm quite delighted to post here are usually from my Tumblr dashboard - you know how that blogging platform has been fueled since its founding date by randomness and a huge amount of silliness; however I find it amusing that nobody practiced what (s)he preached in that memo!

Somebody decently opinionated finally gave birth to a meme particularly tied to my true feelings.

That's a top-notch representation of my thought outline

I have just been banned from an online community for futile reasons *chuckles*

The board asked: "Do you think there are some minor flaws in the first Harry Potter movie?"

Me: "I deem the whole story a huge mistake, perhaps if they brought up to attention the minor details, the plot holes (and mostly, the annoying characters) wouldn't have been noticed"

//kicked to the exosphere//

holy smokes

Justine ha scritto:

holy smokes

I can only hope it's a parking house in Japan

This one goes out to all the people in Colorado

Never become aware of your surroundings

Added to my sketch list: "People with whom you'd like to get married"

I used to have this saved on my HD as a wordfile, I believe it's been posted before but I post it again just for the thrills ah ah

It's no fiction, watch carefully:

Well, apparently I've just stumbled upon something actually eerie

Open Google Images and search for "fuck on the first date"

...there are at least 100+ copies of the same image scattered all over the results page ._.

Chi me la spiega?

"A male feminist walks into a bar. Because it was set so low. Happy International Women's Day"

SETH OTH ha scritto:Chi me la spiega?

"A male feminist walks into a bar. Because it was set so low. Happy International Women's Day"

Boh...però mi ha fatto venire in mente questa:"A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, hey, why the long face?"

Ok. Dovrò chiedere delucidazioni alla postatrice.
(Notare che ho usato l'ok per rimanere in topic!)

SETH OTH ha scritto:Ok. Dovrò chiedere delucidazioni alla postatrice.
(Notare che ho usato l'ok per rimanere in topic!)

Che sforzo sisifeo!

English words that seem to mean a thing to italian people and instead mean something different.

abstract = astratto riassunto

brave = bravo coraggioso

carbon = carbone carbonio

cavalier = cavaliere arrogante

cellar = cellulare cantina

character = carattere personaggio

compass = compasso bussola

consistent = consistente coerente

convinction = convinzione condanna

cucumber = cocomero cetriolo

delusion = delusione illusione

eventually = eventualmente dopo

fabric = fabbrica tessuto

factory = fattoria fabbrica

fastidious = fastidioso preciso

fine = fine bello

font = fonte carattere tipografico

furniture = fornitura mobilio

gallant = galante valoroso

genial = geniale socievole

gracious = grazioso cortese

ingenuity = ingenuità ingegnosità

intelligence = intelligenza informazione

lampoon = lampone scherzo

luxury = lussuria lusso

mansion = mansione castello

morbid = morbido morboso

rumor = rumore diceria

scholar = scolaro studioso

sensible = sensibile sensato

silicon = silicone silicio

terrific = terrificante fantastico

vista = vista panorama

Minsky ha scritto:English words that seem to mean a thing to italian people and instead mean something different.

abstract = astratto riassunto

brave = bravo coraggioso

carbon = carbone carbonio

cavalier = cavaliere arrogante

cellar = cellulare cantina

character = carattere personaggio

compass = compasso bussola

consistent = consistente coerente

convinction = convinzione condanna

cucumber = cocomero cetriolo

delusion = delusione illusione

eventually = eventualmente dopo

fabric = fabbrica tessuto

factory = fattoria fabbrica

fastidious = fastidioso preciso

fine = fine bello

font = fonte carattere tipografico

furniture = fornitura mobilio

gallant = galante valoroso

genial = geniale socievole

gracious = grazioso cortese

ingenuity = ingenuità ingegnosità

intelligence = intelligenza informazione

lampoon = lampone scherzo

luxury = lussuria lusso

mansion = mansione castello

morbid = morbido morboso

rumor = rumore diceria

scholar = scolaro studioso

sensible = sensibile sensato

silicon = silicone silicio

terrific = terrificante fantastico

vista = vista panorama

Technically, they are called "false friends" and there are some in probably any language, hier a couple of examples which come up my mind (no copy & paste) and people do usually get wrong, i mix them up with the German language, for more fun, too :

- actually -> aktuell (attualmente) = tatsächlich, effettivamente

- guilty -> gültig (valido) = colpevole

- handy -> handy (cellulare) = pratico

- bad -> bad (bagno) = cattivo

asf aso

A possible source of confusion in English (and also in other languages) are the "homophones": words that have a different spelling and different meaning of course, but a similar pronunciation.

Here I present just a single example, but funny a lot.



"Jesus Christ" and "jizz us Christ" have the very same "sound".

The meanings:

Jesus Christ = Gesù Cristo

jizz us Christ = sborraci addosso, Cristo!

It's nice, isn't it?

Minsky ha scritto:A possible source of confusion in English (and also in other languages) are the  "homophones": words that have a different spelling and different meaning of course, but a similar pronunciation.

Here I present just a single example, but funny a lot.



"Jesus Christ" and "jizz us Christ" have the very same "sound".

The meanings:

Jesus Christ = Gesù Cristo

jizz us Christ = sborraci addosso, Cristo!

It's nice, isn't it?

The english language is a real goldmine for such things, I actually have a hairbrush which name is "Tangle Teezer" (because it helps better than others to untagle messed up hair)

Hi, I try to introduce myself in english language.
I had been active on UAAR forum for approximatevely four years from 2010 to 2014,same name and same avatar. I was also a UAAR member but I left because of Casa Pound issue.
I lived in a very small village on the extreme south-east corner of Piedmont, but I left Italy last may because I couldn't find a decent job and I got mad with pandemic. Green pass to work has been "too much", so I quit and I went to Spain with Worldpackers program. I worked there for five months but since october I live in Netherlands where I work in a big transport industry factory.
I'm 46, I'm single, I love so much pets, dogs and cats equally. I regret not to be able to have any of them with me now. I'm atheist of course, and since 2010 I'm "unbaptized". Is it the right way to say it?
My english isn't perfect at all, I hope I could improve it with your help.

Minsky ha scritto:English words that seem to mean a thing to italian people and instead mean something different.

abstract = astratto riassunto

brave = bravo coraggioso

carbon = carbone carbonio

cavalier = cavaliere arrogante

cellar = cellulare cantina

character = carattere personaggio

compass = compasso bussola

consistent = consistente coerente

convinction = convinzione condanna

cucumber = cocomero cetriolo

delusion = delusione illusione

eventually = eventualmente dopo

fabric = fabbrica tessuto

factory = fattoria fabbrica

fastidious = fastidioso preciso

fine = fine bello

font = fonte carattere tipografico

furniture = fornitura mobilio

gallant = galante valoroso

genial = geniale socievole

gracious = grazioso cortese

ingenuity = ingenuità ingegnosità

intelligence = intelligenza informazione

lampoon = lampone scherzo

luxury = lussuria lusso

mansion = mansione castello

morbid = morbido morboso

rumor = rumore diceria

scholar = scolaro studioso

sensible = sensibile sensato

silicon = silicone silicio

terrific = terrificante fantastico

vista = vista panorama

canteen = cantina mensa

"Actually" = attualmente effettivamente

"Facility" = facilità installazione, impianto

"Rape" = rape ( ) stupro

These words in linguistics are called "false friends", as some of you people might know I live in Germany and there are some funny ones Germans misuse, too.

They're not really false friends but simply an abuse (I'd rather say rape) of the english language, here we go:

#1 the most popular (and the one that feels like a fingernail scratching on a chalkboard, too):

"coffee/pizza/whatever/ to go" (is meant "to take away"), outside many coffee shops & fast food facilities

#2 used in the common language, "roundabout" (is meant "about"), not realizing they say "Kreisverkehr" (rotatoria)

If some other come up my mind I'll post them, in the meantime:



watch entirely, you will understand even if you don't speak German

EDIT dioporco 3 errori di orticoltura corretti

to apprehend = apprendere catturare